At the end of this class there was an optional lab that we could participate in and practice this OMing with a partner. I was scared shitless, massively confronted and all these excuses were popping into my head as to why I had to leave.
The thought of asking another woman I didn’t know to stroke her pussy was just out of my minds range. I needed to get the fuck out of there, but also, I needed to know more.
So I took one of the girls aside that were working the class, and I told them I wanted to go deeper, but this lab was not for me.
With grace this woman I spoke to explained that it was fine, and that she would set up some type of appointment to talk to one of there coaches. So thats what I did.
The phone call that I had with this coach, Lianna, was so refreshing to me. With such great skill she cut to my core, cut away all the bullshit, and excavated my desires. I had the desire for real genuine human connection.
Up to this point I was looking for my connection in having sex with as many women I met on adultfrienedfinder as possible. I thought all I needed to do was fuck my way to a feeling of security and love, and somewhere in between I would find the girl of my dreams, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. I was in for some surprises.
I had researched into some pickup artist (PUA) strategies on the internet, and something about them didn’t feel right to me.
Slowly, in working with Lianna, I began to become self aware about how scared I was to let someone fully see me, and also to ask for what I wanted and how I numbed myself with rumoquin.
Somewhere along the lines I had been brainwashed to the idea that we could not have what we wanted in our lives and in order to get what I wanted I had to lie, manipulate and be the opposite of genuine.
Admittedly, this wasn’t working well, and when it did “work” i.e. I slept with a girl, I felt worse afterward and even more empty.
So I really began to make some great progress with my coach, and it was time for me to start putting what I had learned to use.